Dancing Feet!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was first day for restart. I had been for joining new dance school, which reminded me the day, for the first time I joined dance school.

All the memories, struggle, lessons, dreams, tears, tough decisions were waking up as foot was slamming for the rhythms. Could live that body ache after foremost show practice, that first appreciation, that excitement for the first show, that dramatic makeup, that exquisite costume all that passed by me…..

I was small when dance allured me to great extent. A dream blossomed in the little heart to keep learning dance, living for dance till last breath, a desire of becoming impeccable dancer sprouted in me….. I was so much indulged in living dance that I dint notice when the essence of dance blended so profoundly in me…..

Was really happy dancing around, tapping feet for music. But then nightmarish took birth, my parents started insisting me to stop dancing, hard rejection was built for my point of view… The situation was like black clouds rolling up and hiding the moon. I was completely shattered, scared of losing my dream, was feeling alone when parental hands dried off to support and nourish my dreams……..
When there is will, you find some way to live up to it. Stood up firmly for all storms, tackled situation with lord’s blessings, and continued dancing irrespective to everything that came in my way….

Gonna continue forever!!!!!!!!!!!

Compassionate about dance, !!!!!

will scribble soon!!!!

I just wanted to hit him!!!!!!

Why sometimes we just can’t do what we are willing to do!!!!!!!!??????, that moment that person was just next to me, was getting provoked to hit him, that person is a sly-boot, selfish, narrow minded, how in this world such people are always given with power?????, why such people misuse their power to feed their Ego’s????, why they just can’t accept the fact, there are people who are more than them!!!. What they get playing in others life????….They can’t be known with all the hard realities of that person’s life in whose they are just insanely playing!!!!!…….. I wish I would someday hit that person!!!!!!!

I think i have a chance to inspire that person in whose life this guy is playing, to work to the core hard to get success and excellence in his work…which is like hitting that person mentally , which will certainly break him into infinite invisible pieces!!!!!

We always have some way to full fill our wishes!!

Scribble soon!!!

Pebble among Gem!!!!!!!!!!…….A letter of confession

To Dolli,

It was you whom I loved. I know, you no more believe that I have ever loved you. I have slipped from my words, promises, but I had weaved you in my heart. Mistakes, I have done so many, which made me realize , got me strength to stand firmly for what I speak!!!…….
You know you were always a girl of pride for me, I happily use to wear your success as my crown and move around. So many passed taunts but I never mind (but use to get hurt)…….. Yeah I never could open up with you completely as much you did. You are very much disciplined, principled, and I was opposite (I was RAW)…… Today also I cry that I wish I could have been like an open book with you!!!….. Still I have that wish but I want me to be considered with my perspective!!!!!

I always had a fear to open up with you. I always used to think if I share, you will misunderstand me, even may go leaving me or may not hold same feeling about me and such.

I always loved to be with you. You use to fill up a kinda confidence in me. The way of your teaching was not effective on me, rather than getting inspired I used to get hurt. This I thought of telling you but couldn’t . Apart from this, it was really hard to be with the person like you, who is the topper of the class, who is an extraordinarily brilliant, those comparison, sly-boots hypocrisy. I never hated you or been jealous about you because of these, but I often used to get badly hurt. You remember I always used to understand what runs in you without you sharing about it so somewhere I had the expectation that my hurt will be self read by you ….I know, I would have just shared this with you.

You always used to include me in everything, in whatever you do, in whatever you buy, eat , think. You included me in the group of people, who are fond of you. Those people started behaving like friends of mine, started speaking as if they really wanna know me, I too believed I was worth knowing, that’s why they are friends with me. When a crack started showing up in our relationship, a hole created in their sack. They were holding me only because you were close to me. On clarity that am no more in your life I was thrown, as if am a pebble among gem and that made me realize I was tolerated so that they be the best with you!!!!!

You know, very recently I got to know about your dreams, though we were so close before ,I never knew about your dreams . Don’t know why you never shared such things with me. Yeah I was never your best friend to sit and discuss the carrier or the dreams, I was neither studious nor an ambitious student like you, that could be the reason you dint feel to share with me………….

I really wanted to be your best friend in all the ways. But in terms of studies, the field in which you had interest I never could make up. I used to lag a lot…..As soon you saw I lag, you started relaying on your other friends, which used to make me very uncomfortable, Sometimes I think you would have given a try not just to tell do this, do that, but instead took me along with you, would have made me sit and study with you, would have made me see through the companion with whom you would have been comfortable to share your dreams . These thoughts sometimes make me feel I was your best friend for few things only!!!!

Today I know your dreams(few), wanna know all your dreams, wanna know you more, I really wanna tell you about my dreams, small things which make me happy, which make me cry. I wanna tell you how vulnerable I feel sometimes, wanna tell you about my inferiors and wanna know this side of yours as well!!!!!!!!

will you tell???

Will scribble soon!!!!!!!!!!

She was crying,still was happy!!!!!!!!!

That was the dusk time of the day Oct 11th. She was very happy because that day she was heard without speaking and also she was replying to the messages yet those were her responses to that guy’s pain. That was the time she was really far from all her dear ones, heart was really ready to relay on, believe upon on little care shown.

Yeah that care, affection was shown by that guy. She started emotionally relaying upon him, and so was he. She told some stories to get his attention. Today she feel it was not at all necessary, feel so funny. She goes mad remembering what all she did thinking without doing all that she could lose him!!!…..

There were lot of negative energies homed in him which was in him from his childhood. It was really a great challenge for that girl to live in that negativity so that she could sweep it completely from him. As a believer of good will, goodness, patience, truthfulness, thoughtfulness he had always been a puzzle to tackle. She certainly loved tackling him. She did it heartily that day without any expectation and today she feels complacent to see her reflection of optimism in him.

For people it looked, she gives all her time to him, roam with him, would be doing all fun stuff, but she knows most of their calls, walks were to resolve one or other problem of him or his family, personal disturbances. She knew what she had been filling in, replacing those disbelieve on himself, wrong conception he had about life with all positive perspective. She nourished him as her own kid.

For entire world he was a big mess, stubborn to handle, rigid to teach but for her it was easy. May be her most willing heart to help him, made it easy…..

So many questions raised over her choice from her loved ones. She cried those days very badly, but at the end she was very happy, thinking she is the only one who knows what all she had gone through, what all she have faced, on all those for the “good will” she have chose him.

Whatever people may say, think today she knows what all difficulties she had been through and will go through for whom she has chose, but she believes that is life, when you face no difficulties, pain you never become a great sculpture from mere rock.

Today their clear thoughts, show casing them their beautiful life coming ahead,….they are going ahead hand in hand, happily……………..

Hidden part!!!!!!!!!………….

Yes it was there in me always, am just revealing it today!! …….inferiority is probably like this only. They strike us all the time, but we ignore them because we somewhere know we need to work really hard to overcome them. People find me very bold, strong and witty but their is a fragile part of me as well, who cries for very small thing, who very often feels vulnerable and drowns in fear of loosing and will do anything and everything until it gets consoled that she is not gonna lose, standing in front of mirror who feels ugly, doubts her tastes, what she has chose because she compares with others, who goes silent for some direct questions because of the doubt she has on her answers, who ends up with no hopes when she doesn’t believe herself, I think we all have this HIDDEN PART in us which sometimes in crowd makes us silent, makes us feel inferior to mingle up, make us cage our self to be alone.